Antionette Rabain is nothing if not pragmatic. After she was told she had breast cancer in September last year, she returned immediately to work at LF Wade International Airport.
“I said to myself I know I have to accept that it’s in my body,” said the 67-year-old, a manager customs broker for Fast Forward Freight.
“I was told and then when I went back to work – because I work in an office by myself – I just cried.
“I cried because it’s scary, but it’s something that I basically have to deal with.”
The months that followed saw Ms Rabain apply that same level-headed approach when she had to undergo a mastectomy and five sessions of radiation therapy.
“It’s not going to go away with a snap of the finger,” she said. “You just have to keep yourself calm.”
The athletic mother-of-three, who has represented Bermuda in six different sports, had no idea anything was amiss when she went for a routine mammogram at the Bermuda Cancer and Health Centre in August 2023.
“They spotted something in my left breast,” she said. “They called me back and they had to do another scan on it to verify it and then a little while after that I had to go in for a biopsy.”
Then came a daunting wait. “Sometimes I would think ‘well, nobody in my family has really had breast cancer’.
“It’s something that’s kind of stressful but not that bad because you can’t change the results. It’s something that you have to cope with and deal with.”
She went alone to the hospital to hear the outcome. After receiving the diagnosis, she set up a WhatsApp group with her three grown-up boys, the eldest of whom lives in the UK.
“I knew I had to be strong for my sons,” she said. “I wanted to let them know all at one time.”
Her children, Michael, Forrest Jr and Antione Williams, rallied round, with the eldest visiting the island so he could accompany her to some medical appointments.
“They are my strength, especially going through hard times back then,” she said.
“My sons, they definitely supported their momma. ‘Momma, you all right?’ They kept calling.”
Her twin sister, Marionette Zuill, a former nurse, was also a source of strength. She was by her side on the morning of October 26 last year when Ms Rabain went into hospital for outpatient surgery to remove her left breast and some lymph nodes.
Things didn’t go entirely as planned.
“I had an allergic reaction to the dye they gave me,” recalled Ms Rabain, who lives in Paget. “As soon as they gave it to me, I broke out in a little fine rash.
“When I went to the recovery room, that’s when they gave me an epi-pen. They had put it in my leg and it was more painful than the actual operation itself.”
The tears flowed again when Ms Rabain was wheeled down to her sister to be taken home.
“I really cried,” she said. “She brought me home and I just laid in bed. I had to take painkillers.”
The next day, Ms Rabain felt brighter and within a couple of weeks she went back to work, the surgery having been a success.
She returned to BCHC for five radiation treatments, which she found a “little stressful” as she is claustrophobic.
“You can’t move, the machine goes around you,” she explained. “But the nurses there were extremely supportive.”
She was full of praise for the caring attitude of the centre’s staff.
“They are boss, they are great,” she said. “They explained things to me and they were there for me. It made the treatment, and a lot of the stuff your body goes through, so much easier.”
At the end of her treatment, she got to ring the bell at BCHC, as is traditional for breast cancer patients.
“I wasn’t expecting that,” she said. “It just didn’t dawn on me. They let you ring that bell and state that you are cancer-free.”
Ms Rabain was given the all-clear on December 20 last year, after an MRI scan and bone density test showed the cancer was gone.
She must now take the hormone therapy drug Letrazole for five years and continue to have regular mammograms.
“I would advise women to make sure they get their mammogram done every year,” said Ms Rabain.
“Even if you can’t afford it, Bermuda Health and Cancer is still there to support you.
“You know, a lot of times people don’t like to ask for that type of help, but it’s for your health and safety and you need to get it done.”
She said the cancer had undoubtedly affected her, but it hasn’t stopped her enjoying the things she loves: playing cricket at White Hill Field in Sandys, having video calls with her two grandchildren in Leeds, England, and spending time with her close-knit family in Bermuda.
“I find my body is still not right,” she admitted. “It seems you can get a bit dehydrated after radiation. I have to make sure, even now, that I drink lots. You are not always 100 per cent.”
She added: “I’m not going to say I don’t think about the cancer. It’s something that stays in the back of your mind.
“I do worry sometimes, but I don’t let it control me.”
Ms Rabain believes life has made her resilient and she is able to find the positive even in the “life-changing” experience of having cancer.
“Sometimes it makes me think, ‘Do I have cancer anywhere else?’ But you have to train yourself to deal with things.
“You have to allow the hate and anger that you feel, because of the wrongness that’s been done to you, you have to let go.
“To be a survivor – a cancer survivor – it gives you strength.”
