Gherdai Hassell

“In 2015, I was suffering from depression,” said 28-year-old artist and art teacher Gherdai Hassell. “I was lost, broke and feeling down and out. I knew I needed to make a change in my life and that I wasn’t living up to my fullest potential, but garnering up enough courage to switch course was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
Up until then, Miss Hassell had done the ‘right’ thing by enrolling in law school. She had bought into the belief she needed a corporate career to be successful, but day after day found herself bored in class, drawing to pass the time. Instead of thinking about civil and class action suits, she daydreamed about ways she could get more money in order to buy more art supplies.

Then one day as she walked through the vast corridors of her university building, it suddenly felt as though her chest was caving in. She couldn’t breathe – and didn’t want to face another day living a lie. Rather than go left to class, she made a right hand turn and withdrew from school. Soon after, she was on her way to Guiyang, China to follow her creative pursuits.

Over the last four years, Miss Hassell has visited 27 countries, including Turkey, Morocco, Italy, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Hong Kong, South Korea, Costa Rica, Antigua, St. Thomas and Mexico. While living in China, she starts her days with a morning meditation, yoga and journaling, before going on to teach two art classes. In the afternoon, and sometimes late into the evening, you can find her at her home art studio perfecting her craft.
Despite her initial fears and reservations, Miss Hassell believes it was the best decision to follow her heart and take responsibility for the direction of her life. Once she took the leap, things began to fall into place. She recalled it was “the most liberating and freeing experience” and gave her the courage to tackle other life challenges head on.
She feels more balanced now and makes time to do something that brings her joy each day. She’s also become more open-minded about people from different cultures and religions, as well as more resilient, compassionate and independent.

“I’ve realised there’s more to life than working in a job that isn’t serving you or making you happy. We all desire and want more out of life. The difference between people that actually get it and those who don’t, is that they face the fear and do it anyway. They make a decision and give themselves permission to choose their passions in life. I’m a firm believer that if you’re doing something you’re passionate about, you’ll never feel like it is ‘work’. I’ve also found that if you’re walking in your purpose, the money will come to you.

“My advice to anyone is to follow your heart and trust your intuition.”

Kerri Jackson

A former senior manager at KPMG, Kerri Jackson reached a crossroads in her life at age 38. She was recently divorced, unsure of her direction in life and had lost motivation for her 9-5 job (then at hedge fund company Red Kite Management Limited). Back in 2014, she completed a health coaching programme online and embarked on a yoga teacher training scheme.

Following her love for all things health and wellness, she decided to leave the corporate world at age 40 and spend a few months travelling around Hawaii, California and Portugal.

“I wasn’t sure of what was next, but decided to try and establish roots back in my hometown in Toronto,” the former executive said. “Unfortunately, the move wasn’t as smooth as I’d planned. My first winter in Canada was especially challenging. It’s hard enough for people who live there and have their routine to keep them going in the cold months, but I had no job and no routine. I struggled with anxiety and depression and had to work through that before taking any next steps in life.”

Once she got back on her feet, Ms Jackson signed up for another in-depth nutrition programme, then got a part time freelancing gig in accounting to make some money on the side. “That’s when my friend contacted me to tell me she had just bought some land in Mexico, with the vision of building a retreat centre. She wanted my help with some of the business and financial planning and as I knew I didn’t want to spend another winter in Canada, I agreed to come down to Central America and lend a hand.”

She put her course studies on hold for a few months and worked out an agreement with her employer to work remotely. After arriving in Mexico everything else fell into place. Her days were filled with surfing and Spanish lessons, working for a few hours at a coworking space or café in a small town, then meeting up with friends for dinner. She enjoyed her new routine so much, she decided to partner with her friend to build and launch the retreat centre, including a co-working space and apartments for those in need of a holistic escape.

“It’s a laid back and relaxed lifestyle in Mexico and we’re based in a pretty small community so it’s easy to meet people,” she said. “I went to Mexico with no expectations; I just wanted to avoid the winter in Canada. One thing led to another and I reconnected with what I wanted in life. It’s been nice to allow myself to start each morning with meditation and journaling. I don’t think I could have done that with a 9-5 job. I’ve been able to create a lot more self-care in my routine and love meeting up with friends for yoga or coffee and not feel rushed or stressed about time.”
Ms Jackson admits leaving her job was “quite drastic” and involved some growing pains. She encourages other people with a desire to step outside their comfort zone to do so gradually. “Start exploring areas of interest and take it step by step to make your dream a reality,” she said. “That could mean going back to school to get certified, while you still work your office job or speaking with a life coach or someone that can help you make the transition a little easier.”

Whitney Wilson

Seven years ago, Whitney Wilson found herself in a corporate role she didn’t particularly like, doing tasks she knew she wasn’t any good at. The combination proved to be extremely demoralizing. “It didn’t play to my strengths and wasn’t the best work culture for me either,” she said. “To top it all off, it wasn’t a place I felt I could grow or be happy.” Trapped and unfulfilled, Ms Wilson started to dream of what life outside Bermuda could look like. Hoping to find a more joy-filled existence, she booked a one-way ticket to the other side of the globe and set out on her biggest adventure to date.

The 33-year-old has now visited a host of countries in Africa, Europe, Asia and the Middle East, however she most recently called Luang Prabang, the former capital city of Laos, her home. Formerly working for Pencils of Promise, a New York based non-governmental organization, Ms Wilson helped to fulfil its mission of providing children around the world with access to a quality education. A typical work day involved creating training opportunities for Lao teachers and started at 8am. After wrapping up at 4.30pm, she found time to experiment with vegan recipes, go to the gym, read and doodle in cafes in the evenings and on weekends.

For her, finding a job that was purposeful and meaningful has helped her to achieve a better work-life balance. “The level of stress I have in my life is at an overall stable and healthy level now,” said Ms Wilson, who recently relocated back to Bermuda. “I love that I have time to pursue things I like such as cooking. And living in Asia as an expat my quality of life was very high, a lot higher than it could be in Bermuda given the cost of living and income.”

She admits she has “no regrets” about leaving home in search of a life that was more aligned to her authentic self. Of course she’s missed her family, but learning to survive on her own in the big, wide world has improved her confidence and how she sees herself as an individual. “I would never take the experiences I’ve had back,” she said. “I’ve learnt how to advocate for myself and speak up for the things I truly believe in. I’ve also discovered the importance of finding my tribe. Growing up, I spent a large majority of time feeling like an odd ball, like I never really belonged to a particular group of friends or had a niche. Then when I started travelling I met a lot of other weird, quirky people who became ‘my people’.”

While she understands it won’t work for everyone to drop it all and move to Asia, she believes each person should look inside to find solutions to better their life. “I also think it’s important for people to understand that getting up and moving to Asia didn’t solve all my problems,” she said. “It came with its own set of problems. People can look on social media at my cool moments and interactions while travelling and think I have it made, but there have also been lots of tears and frustrations along the way as well.”

A happy Medium – Tania Kowalski, Heath & Happiness Coach

You don’t have to quit your job or start a new life abroad to find your bliss. Tania Kowalski, a Bermuda-based health and happiness coach, insists there are small activities we can do now – right where we are – to find balance when life gets out of whack. Here are three suggestions if you’re looking for something quick and simple to make you smile:

Nourish your heart
Connecting with the people you love is extremely important, said Mrs Kowalski. That’s why even on her busiest days, she makes sure to carve out little snippets of time to read to her kids or give her husband a quick smooch.

Nourish your body
Getting in a quick workout or enjoying a colorful and fresh meal are two ways you can quickly boost your mood. Research shows exercise increases your serotonin levels, a.k.a. the “feel good chemical”, which helps decrease negative emotions and increase positive ones.

Nourish your soul
Just doing a five-minute meditation or taking time to write out a gratitude list can make a world of difference to our overall outlook. Meditation is known to reduce stress, control anxiety and enhance self-awareness. If you’re not sure where to start, just sit yourself in a comfortable position, set a timer and try to focus on your breathing for that length of time.

This article was originally published in the Fall 2019 edition of RG Magazine. 

The post Pursuit of Happiness appeared first on RG Magazines.

By Annabel Cooper

We are all a product of our upbringing, our surroundings, the hand we were dealt with physically and mentally, and who we decide to be, and this diversity creates differences of knowledge, experience and understanding, and should be celebrated. Most of us, at some stage in our lives, have been singled out because of our circumstances, what we look like, who we are or what we believe. We all have a diversity story.

Race

Year 8 Students from Saltus Grammar School

At the end of 2018, the Saltus Year 8 students studied Florenz Webbe Maxwell’s book, Girlcott,which tells the story of fictional character Desma Johnson, a black Bermudian girl living in segregated Bermuda in 1959 in the run-up to her 16th birthday. She wants to celebrate by going to the cinema with her friends, however, the theatre boycott is about to begin.

By studying this book, the students received an eye-opening account of Bermuda’s racial history and while they were aware that in the past black Bermudians had been treated badly, for many of the students this was the first time they understood what that meant.

They say they were particularly shocked to learn that the Government would pull mortgages for black people who spoke out and that you were prevented from doing things because of the colour of your skin. “We feel sad about how people were treated because of their skin colour. This was unfair. Everyone is created equal.”

Maxwell had been part of the secretive Progressive Group who organised the boycott and the students’ project culminated in a meeting with her and fellow Group members Gerald and Izola Harvey.

In actually meeting living members of the Group it really hit home that this hadn’t happened that long ago. They were also struck by how humble they were and the fact that they had remained anonymous for so long. They needed to maintain secrecy at the time, but that secrecy continued for a further 40 years.

“What they did was really positive,” says one of the students. “They were trying to stop racism in Bermuda; they made a real difference even though they were anonymous. It wouldn’t have worked if they had shown who they were.

“They showed they cared about what they were doing. It wasn’t for fame. It was never about them. It was about changing the way things were.”

The group of students interviewed was diverse, and they all agreed that because of the Progressive Group there is less racism than there used to be. While none of the students interviewed has experienced racism first hand, they were all aware that it still existed on the island especially in the form of comments and insults. “People need to get with the time!” says one.

Head of English, Louise Berryman, who managed the project, explains that they chose “Girlcott” because “it’s dealing with the fact that you couldn’t do something because you were a girl and because of the colour of your skin. We felt it covered two aspects of diversity at the same time.

“It’s such an important part of Bermudian history and the book is written so well that it’s something we really wanted to cover.”

When asked about the students’ reaction to the issues dealt with in the book, Berryman explains that there is a part in the book where Desma is told she can’t become an Actuary because she is black and a girl: “They were shocked. In today’s context, students struggled to understand that people were limited because of their race and/or gender.”

Ann Paynter, Director of Middle School, adds: “I think it’s incredibly important that our students are aware. I think our students talk freely, they express opinions freely. I think this generation is going to be the generation to really move things forward and I think that’s amazing.”

7 students in total were interviewed including six Bermudians.

Gender

Sergeant Patricia ‘Jenny’ Woolridge, 31, Female Soldier in the Royal Bermuda Regiment

Although Sgt. Woolridge has always enjoyed physical activity, she hadn’t always wanted to be a soldier and before 2011 had never considered joining the Royal Bermuda Regiment. It wasn’t until she was back on the Island looking for a job that her sister forwarded her an email advertising the Regiment’s Recruit Camp, which paid $2,000 for the two weeks, that she found her calling.

“I was always someone who was into sports and physical activities,” she says. “I figured it’s a challenge but I can get paid to do it, so why not. After my recruit camp, I fell in love. The money didn’t matter.

“The environment makes you push yourself. The things you thought you couldn’t do, you can because you’ve worked so hard. You’ve practised; you’ve trained. Sometimes I think I have to work twice as hard because I’m a female, but all those things make me a better person.

“Being a woman in a man’s world is always a challenge. Sometimes physical, sometimes mental. I like to have my hair out and my nails done, but at camp you can’t have your hair out, but this is a commitment. I chose to do it. I pull my hair back and get back in.

“When you know, as a female, you can accomplish what I’ve accomplished in a man’s world, it is awesome. Being able to prove people wrong by doing what you enjoy is an amazing feeling.”

Woolridge explained that in spite of enjoying what she does, she has, at times, found it tough, but that this experience not only makes her better at her job, but also puts her in a stronger position to help others.

“In my first year I quit on one of our route marches, and to this day I will never quit again. The feeling of quitting was just the worst in the world. That was an experience and challenge that I had to overcome. I tell people I quit once and tell them they will hate themselves if they do it.

“I speak from experience when I speak to my troops.”

I don’t feel it’s a man’s world all the time because I’m doing what the men are doing. I work as hard as anyone else. I don’t expect my troops to do anything I can’t do.

“When you have new people, who aren’t used to having females telling them what to do, there’s always a bit of push back, but in time everyone learns that Sgt. Woolridge has nothing negative to say. Everything I’m asking them to do, they need to do. People realise you are actually helping them.

Woolridge said that one of the most rewarding aspects of her job is watching how people grow and develop and the fact the Regiment places emphasis on mentoring: “I still have mentors, and I mentor others,” she says. She also explains that during Recruit Camp there’s nearly always one female on staff, so women have support readily available.

For any women considering the Regiment, Woodridge says, “It’s a big challenge but push yourself, and when you get to where you want to be, it’s so rewarding. Don’t fall for the typical stereotype that because this is a man’s world, you can’t do it. Always try to prove someone wrong and change that stereotype.”

Currently around 18-20 per cent of the Regiment is female.

Sgt. Woolridge is also a Business Analyst in the Project Management Office of the Bermuda Monetary Authority.

Opinion

Tony Brannon, 67, Artist, Entertainer and Same Sex-Marriage Activist

Brannon has opinions about many things, but in 2015, his strong opinion about making same-sex marriage legal in Bermuda made a significant difference to people’s lives.

He became involved in the campaign “by accident, although I’ve always been aware of the journey in Bermuda of equality because you can’t escape it. I remember standing in my Dad’s shop watching the theatre boycott 60 years ago.

“It was because of a Royal Gazette article that appeared in April 2015 about a lesbian couple on a cruise ship who were denied the right to marry on that ship because it happened to be registered to Bermuda. It immediately triggered off memories of the Rosie O’Donnell cruise in 2007, and I thought ‘here we go, this is 2015, surely this is ridiculous?”

In 2007, R Family Vacations, a travel company specialising in holidays for LGBT families and their friends, and a business in which Rosie O’Donnell was involved, cut Bermuda from their cruise schedule to avoid potential protests.

“I posted about this, and I started a petition. I put it out there, and it caught on fire really quickly. 3,500 signed it within a week so I thought, ‘what do I do next?’ Brannon approached the OBA who was in Government at the time but discovered they didn’t want to deal with it: “They all thought same sex-marriage was an election losing issue. It made me so angry that I dug my heels in!”

“The real glue that made it all come together was Mark Pettingill who said he saw a path through the courts on this.” Mark represented Winston Godwin and Greg DeRoche.

“We went to court, and we won. Same-Sex Marriage became legal in May 2017 and then, of course, the election was held not too long afterwards. The PLP said they would change this. They got into power, and Walton Brown was given the difficult task of coming up with a compromise situation – domestic partnerships. We viewed this as an attack on equality and human rights. The Government legislated that gay people can almost be equal but not quite.

“It’s 99.9 per cent over. Obviously, acceptance and how everyone gets on in Bermuda and how equality stretches across the board, racially, sexually, is an onward going thing. It’s one of those things I hope people will come together on.

“I am pleased that I have done it. There is nothing better than seeing the faces of the LGBT community after the first court victory, after the second court victory and even more so after the third when I saw the joy on the faces of people who just wanted to marry the person they love. There were guys, ladies, mixed race – it was a real quilt of what Bermuda is in straight life.”

Age

Ashley Stephens, 16, Young Entrepreneur and Owner of Ashley’s Lemonade

Ashley Stephens proved that age was no barrier to business when she started selling lemonade from outside her parents Pembroke shop, Upscale Fashions, at the tender age of seven years old. She is now a refreshing staple throughout the summer and at many Bermudian events with 11 people working for her overall including two full-time employees.

“I knew I wanted to have my own business because both my parents have their own business and I wanted to be a part of it,” says Stephens.

I looked up kids’ businesses on the Internet, and I found lemonade. It was something that hadn’t been done before in Bermuda – freshly squeezed for each customer.

“We started off pre-made, but by listening to our customers, we decided to make it in front of them, so we had the interaction with them.

“Other than me not being able to drive and a very small amount of documents, I was able to run my business as well as anyone else my age.”

Stephens said that when she first started she learned a lot on the job, but her parents, Earlette Stephens and Waymond Hill helped her: “I learned by doing. I was put in the position where I had to do it. My parents were a great help of where to go. We did our research and made all the relationships with the wholesalers and customers. It was a trial and error learning experience. I had a lot of support from everyone – the wholesalers, the health department, the chamber of commerce.

“Every customer gave me support along the way. They were very excited to see a young entrepreneur starting at such a young age. I was judged very positively. I was given a lot of encouragement to continue doing what I was doing.

“People were most enthusiastic about my age and very enthusiastic about the product. They were excited about seeing a young girl following her dreams. The customer service made everyone very happy.”

Still only 16, Stephens is currently attending Bermuda College and is also home-schooled. She has been making lemonade now for over 8 years and has no plans to stop.

“We have multiple ideas for expanding the business. We’re going green; we have reusable Ashley’s cups for sale and straws as well. We will encourage customers to bring their cups or purchase a reusable one from us. We have the metal, bamboo and collapsible reusable straws that we started selling at the end of last year.

“I have millions of ideas in my head, but Ashley’s lemonade is definitely sticking around for the long run and will keep growing into exactly what I want it to be.

“Age should never be a barrier to business. It’s never too early and never too late!”

Physical Disability

Vaughn Mosher, 71, Counsellor, Coach, Consultant and Founder of Benedict Associates Ltd.

Vaughn Mosher has relied on a mobility scooter since 2009. When he was 17 years old, he had a bad accident on a mountain road and crushed his spine by several inches. He was paralysed from the waist down for 6 months. Despite the doctors thinking he would never walk again, he was walking with only one cane by the time he started college two years later.

“Most of my adult life has been walking with a cane and being able to climb mountains and ride a motorcycle, carry the kids on my shoulders, have a full life. I’ve had 50 years of relatively traditional living.”

Then, in 2008, on the very day Barack Obama was elected President of the United States, Mosher was whisked to Boston to have both knees and his left hip removed because of an infection.

The doctors thought I was a goner. I was in such bad shape because the infection manifested so quickly.”

Once again Mosher defied expectations and after an 18-month process of joint replacement, he was using a mobility scooter.

Getting around Bermuda on his scooter has its challenges, but with the help of his family and friends, and sometimes complete strangers, it is a challenge that hasn’t stopped him getting into work every day, socialising or eating out. He and his wife, Roberta, have also highlighted where improvements need to be made, especially in the City of Hamilton, to make life easier for others in a similar situation.

“The Corporation of Hamilton is fixing things little by little. My wife was on the Accessibility Committee for Government. She was taking pictures and submitting where things needed attention.

“There are some restaurants – the MEF group has done a great job. Harbourfront, Elbow Beach and even Little Venice have some ramps where I can zoom right up. There are other places like The Hog Penny, which is such a potentially easy fix. It could be fixed in a day, and it’s just bad enough that there’s no access there.”

He does say however, that there are a couple of his favourite restaurants he can no longer go to because they would need to install lifts or escalators, which, he says, doesn’t make sense. He also hasn’t been able to drive a car for 10 years but is looking into one where the gas and break are on the steering wheel.

“I really would like to drive again. My wife drives me into work every day. She takes the scooter apart, puts it into the trunk and then unloads. Often, strangers stop and say can I help, and that’s lovely that they do.

“I’ve been on the Bermuda sloop. They brought the hoist over and brought me on like cargo. They rigged me in, scooter and all, for a cocktail party. A delightful experience!

“What I really appreciate are the little kids. You can see them pointing and asking their parents ‘what’s that?’ Their eyes light up when they see the scooter. Every now and then I offer the parents if one would like a ride and I give them a little ride down the street and back.

“I’m certainly not deluded in realising I have limitations. I have such a full life. I really don’t feel disabled. I think it’s an attitude as to how one carries oneself. We do what we need to do.”

Religion

Nazma Amirali, 43, Muslim, Kenyan and a Hairdresser at Inner Sanctum

Nazma Amirali grew up in Nairobi, Kenya and moved to Bermuda in 2004. She met her Portuguese husband, Joao, here and he decided to convert to Islam so their family could all be the same. They have two young children, and she explains what it is like for her and her family being Muslim in Bermuda.

Being a Muslim here is very peaceful. Nobody comes to bother you about how you’re dressed. Here, everybody’s respectful of each other.

“A lot of people are believers in something and everyone respects each other’s religion, and I think that’s a beautiful thing.

“It feels like home. We worship either at Masjid Mohammed, the mosque in town and also because I live in Warwick, we tend to go more to Masjid Quba, which is near the Lighthouse. The Muslim community is quite big. There are all kinds of people, from everywhere.”

Masjid is the Arabic word for mosque.

During the holy month of Ramadan Muslims have to fast during daylight hours. That includes drinking liquids: “The first few days are always hard, no matter what time of the year Ramadan falls, but you’ve put your mind to it, you know you’re doing it for your cause so you just get on with it and it’s not so bad.”

In terms of regular prayers throughout the day, Amirali says: “I usually don’t because of the schedule of work, but if I am free I go to the mosque and pray there. If there’s a function at the mosque, I will take a little time off work. For daily prayers, I usually pray at home.”

Amirali has a son who is almost 7 and a 4½-year-old daughter, and she says that there are some challenges, especially when it comes to Christmas: “We explain to them, and they understand, that we have our own celebrations, and everyone has their own celebrations, but we’re all the same people.

“We celebrate Eid. There’s the Eid that comes after Ramadan, Eid al-Fitr and there’s Eid al-Adha, which is after the Haj pilgrimage. We usually get together at the Mosque. We cook, we pray, we eat. There’s usually a talk of Thanksgiving, reminding ourselves what the purpose of the day is. We always do something special for the children. We’ll have fun activities for them.”

On a daily basis, Amirali’s children wear regular clothes, but will get dressed up for special occasions. “My daughter wears her scarfs, but she’s still small, so I don’t force her to wear it. If we go to the mosque for a big prayer, then they have their attire to wear. She has a little abaya, or she can just wear a nice dress with her scarf, and he has his kanzu, which is the long shirt and his hat.”

In terms of their schooling, Amirali says they are understanding of their values: “If there’s a function at school, and they may be doing a BBQ, then we let them know what the children can or cannot eat, or we send food in.”

Muslims must eat meat that has been prepared according to the halal method, and she says that is easy to come by in Bermuda: “Lindo’s and The Marketplace carry Halal meat and we can buy it from the Brunswick Bakery.”

Socio-Economic Circumstance

Jamel Bean, 43, Manager at the Salvation Army Emergency Housing Complex

Jamel Bean was born and raised in the Salvation Army as both his parents had very active roles in the organisation. He has continued their legacy by dedicating much of his working life to helping those who turn to the Salvation Army for help and has also gained a background in psychology and counselling.

“I used to work as an addiction counsellor at Harbour Light for 7 years. Then I worked in the education system, then back to the Salvation Army.”

Bean explains that the work he does in the shelter involves assisting “individuals who are homeless or may have a housing situation – there are different types of homelessness. There are individuals who go to work but are homeless. They may be living in an apartment with other people because with the money they make they may not be able to pay for an apartment on their own.

“We provide housing, we assist them with finding employment. If someone wanted to further their education, we assist them. We work with clients to achieve the goals they set.”

When asked about the people who come to the shelter and why, he says: “Life happens. Life situations, personal choices. We’ve had individuals laid off from their job so weren’t able to continue to stay in their house.We have individuals who, by making choices – they refused to receive support from family or there may have been broken relationships between them and their family, so there is nowhere else they can go, so they come seeking assistance.

Every person that comes through the shelter, their face and situations are different.”

The work Bean does highlights the hardship faced by many in Bermuda, but through his work, there are also inspirational tales that are a testament to the work done by those at the Salvation Army and highlight what can be achieved in spite of everything.

“We had a 21-year-old female who came to the shelter. She had the determination to better herself. She had the desire to want to go back to school. She later enrolled in the Bermuda College to pursue her dream of becoming a nurse.

He also talks about a male client who struggled with alcohol. “To be able to give him support and for him wanting the support, over time, then when he stopped drinking, he moved on from the shelter. We assisted him in acquiring housing. He then also became an active member in one of our committees.”

In addition to the Emergency Housing Complex and Harbour Light Rehabilitation Centre, the Salvation Army also has a family services programme, thrift store and a soup run that goes out six days a week.

This article was originally published in the Spring 2019 edition of RG Magazine.

The post It takes all sorts to make a world appeared first on RG Magazines.

How do you even begin to define the term “family”? One would think that the answer to this question would be obvious. It’s not. Let’s start with what we’re given:

The Bermuda Department of Statistics uses the following definition: “[a group] consisting of persons within a household, who form a unit that is separate from other members of the household, by virtue of their connection through blood, adoption, common law or foster parent-child relationships”.

Confused yet? They go on to define “family types”. On the island, and according to a document called Characteristics of Bermuda’s Families(2006) you should be one of the following:

• The “classic” nuclear family

Two parents (by convention married and of opposite sexes) with one or more children by birth, adoption, or in the cases of re-marriages, of one or both partners. Of course, there is no longer any reason to assume that the parents must be married. And they can equally also be of the same sex.

• The increasingly prevalent single-parent family

One parent with one or more children. While it used to be because of death or divorce, we are starting to see the trend where more single parents intentionally do not marry. Many of them live with an adult partner, sometimes even the unmarried father/mother of their children. Where it used to be that single-parent families were headed by the mother, we’re now seeing more single father: an interesting reflection of the society’s changing views on the role of fathers in child-rearing.

• The unmarried couple with or without children

Regardless of sexual orientation, the children may be of one or both parents.

• The grandparent/grandchild family

One or more grandparents step in to raise children because of financial needs, or absence of parents through death, abandonment, addiction, or irresponsibility. Under this umbrella, may include other variants on older relatives raising children of one or more siblings – nieces/nephews, minor cousins.

• The multi-generational family

  Three or more generations living together.

• The foster family

A family in which adults raise their own children and children who have been placed with them formally or informally because of being orphaned or abandoned.

They also throw around the academic term: “isolated nuclear family” – meaning someone who lives alone. Which brings us back to the question, “What is Family?”

In the real world, families tend to be created as a result of blood ties, affinity (marriage being an example), or co-residence (living in the same place). One can also make the distinction between immediate and extended family. It also has to be said that “family” can have very different meanings depending upon cultural and economic context.

• In South America, it’s not uncommon to see a great number of children and families appreciating time spent together. However, family violence is prevalent.
• In Europe, you see small families and very flexible parenting styles, while the husband is usually viewed as the head of the household.
• In Asia, families are very big, although male children are preferred. Parenting styles are quite rigorous.
• In Australia, the families are not as big, and both the mother and the father take care of the children. There is a big focus on health and sports.
• In Africa, similar to Asia, we see big families that enjoy spending time together – a concept that plays a big role in education.

If we focus on Bermuda, a small society whose characteristics have, as always, been shaped by history, we have a unique opportunity to create our definition of family as it is seen today. Once one starts thinking about what a “family” actually is, reality turns out to be very different from expectation.

Unfortunately, there are no recent published government statistics on family configurations, so we have to rely on anecdotal evidence. Fortunately, Bermuda has a number of truly dedicated and committed organisations, led by individuals who are not only experts in the “Business of Family”, but by their actions and words show that empathy, compassion and plain hard work can make a difference when a family environment is threatened by domestic violence, economic hardship, sexual predation and neglect.

Without ignoring or diminishing the impact of many other organisations and individuals, we were fortunate to gather together two experts for a discussion. Head here to read the conversation between Saadia Bean and Martha Dismont on Family in Bermuda.

Are your relationships healthy? Find out here.

The post The Nature of Family in Bermuda appeared first on RG Magazines.

Couch: Orange Bay Company

Aziza Furbert

 At 33, Aziza is purposefully reserved, poised and insightful. She is a new-ish mother of two who made the difficult decision to leave the corporate world to take on the task of a stay-at-home mom. “It wasn’t something that I wanted to do, but the baby was so tiny, I just didn’t feel comfortable leaving him just yet.” She admits, “The short maternity leave in Bermuda helped move that decision along, three-months (two months of those are paid) wasn’t enough”.

After having experienced new motherhood on the island, Aziza has plenty to add to the conversations of pre- and postnatal healthcare, maternity leave, breastfeeding and the idea that fathers are taking on more domestic roles in the household. “I love the idea of the traditional nuclear family, but my husband is great with the kids, and a great cook –– I don’t cook. Leaving all the care to the mum, can lead to burnout.” She stresses that “as women are stepping up in their careers, it has to be more of a team effort”.

Aziza is working on crushing the stigma towards stay-at-home moms, something she calls “mindful stay-at-home”. “It really depends on what you are telling your kids about why you are home.” She explains, “You have to be sure that you’re not falling into the stereotype. Make sure that they still see hard work, still see the husband working in the house, and the mum doing non-domestic work, even if it’s not at the traditional hours”.

While both she and her husband went to private schools, they’ve decided to put their children in the public system. “There is a stigma that drug dealers live in the public system, but”, she implores, “there are still major social issues in the private system that are not usually highlighted and need to be dealt with, like eating disorders, bullying, suicide attempts, teen pregnancies”.

Aziza believes that her edge among the ladies is in her religion. She can lovingly speak to interfaith relationships, as a Muslim married to a non-Muslim, and educate her viewers on her values, as an individual. “Most people expect that as a Muslim, I would be against same-sex marriage; I don’t believe in shoving religion down people’s throats. Between the conservatives and people who are more moved by social justice, I’m just an ordinary person who’s on the side of the minority voice.” She’s excited to have engaging conversation with interesting women on topics that matter to, not just Bermuda, but the wider world.

Kristin White

At 37, Kristin White is a mother of one, a leader, a social entrepreneur and an advocate for humans in general. Her extensive work in community and youth development gives her an edge and she’s looking forward to bringing that to the conversation. She has been the Marketing Manager for the Centre on Philanthropy, the Development Director for St. George’s Foundation, and the Executive Director for Raleigh Bermuda. She is a bookshop owner, a hoola-hoop maker, and is building up a tourism business that gives tours and re-enactments throughout the East end — by bike.

Her award-winning set of vintage wheels is her most prized possession. “Bicycles have just become a part of my brand.” She says, “It’s the best form of transportation –– it’s sustainable, environmental, and good for your health.” Kristin has already started the conversation on many of the topics that are planned for the show. She leaves an extension of her thoughts on her blog, Kristin dot com,where she writes about “social justice, job creation, climate change, conscription, politics and Top Chef”. If there’s one thing that she’s learned in business and working with youth, it’s that “people don’t care what you know, until they know that you care.” She’s learned to first tell her personal story in order to gain trust.

When she thinks about education, Kristin holds the stance of “inclusivity for all types of learners. We have to find out how people can connect with education in a way that resonates with them.” Not everyone learns the same, and she is passionate about building alternative opportunities to not only learn, but be fulfilled in a job. “I’m happy that my business can present opportunities for actors to work and eventually I’d like to create some sort of framework legislation that creates more jobs, in more areas.”

When she reflects on her life’s mantras, she says, “I’ve been poor, and so I know that I can be [comfortable and] poor. What’s important is to be happy. Be happy, be kind to the planet, and don’t chase money. ’The T’ is a microcosm of the dope-ness of women, I’m ready to make them proud, but also to be a voice for the Caribbean.” Kristin is most excited to talk about culture and race on the show. “I want to bring the conversations that we have privately, to the public and show that black women are engaged. We’ve been killing it all this time; this is just another platform for us to use.”

Marlene Juliette-Flynn

Originally from Jamaica, Marlene is 57 years old, the ex-wife of a prominent martial artist, consequently, a world traveler, and one of Bob Marley’s close cousins. Marlene came to the island with her mothers and sisters to find a better life three decades ago and so, has seen the evolution of the Bermuda immigration system over the years.

“I love people, they are my interest.” She is heavily involved with the Jamaican Association (Bermuda Chapter), the West Indian and Bajan Associations, and worked with the government to build “To Haiti, With Love,” a fundraiser that helped with the damages caused by the slew of hurricanes in 2008. Indeed, her interest is “people” and in particular, a very special interest in the elderly; she wants to make the world a better place to grow old.

Marlene, who fought for the implementation of the original Seniors’ Line at the Bank of Bermuda (now HSBC) in the late 80s, is appalled at the cost of healthcare in general, but more specifically, the cost to take care of our Seniors. This is the conversation that she wants to bring to the table.

“If you haven’t been able to save up loads of money in your lifetime then your children, if you have them, are faced with a very difficult decision,” she states. “Does someone quit work to stay home and take care of their parents or do they put them in a home? All of this to consider, while having to take care of their own children.”

“This talk show is a very powerful platform to both express and influence, not only each other, but the viewers into another way of thinking, another way of looking at the world.” Marlene is excited that the producers saw this power in her at auditions, and takes her new position seriously. She is looking forward to being a channel through which people can relate theirownopinions. “I’m also here to voice the concerns of people that might think like me, but may not have a way to express their thoughts.”

In light of paving the way for new conversation, and making a difference, Marlene is tempted to quote a popular Bob Marley song. Instead she reminds us that “we don’t have to repeat Bob Marley’s songs to find our way; we can create our own redemption song, look at ourselves in the mirror and find our own way forward as a community.”

Teneika Eve

The Bermuda College senior lecturer introduces herself as a 43-year-old, single Christian woman, a Berkeley graduate, and a college dropout. “When I told my parents that I wanted to cook, they put pressure on me to do something ‘better’ with my life. I had to save up enough money to send myself to a culinary arts programme”. From that experience, she implores that parents allow their children to follow their passions –– whatever those might be.

Teneika wants to use the show as a platform to talk about the younger generation from the perspective of what adults need to do, as the village raising them. “Today’s youth are wonderful, but they need more parental guidance. We need to be more uplifting than critical.” She adds, “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” She winks.

Teneika, herself, comes from a big family; she is one of six children. “The perspective that I had of my parents was salient in all of my life’s choices.” Her parents had her packing groceries at the age of 12. “In Bermuda, we are culturally-driven to pack groceries. But the job cultivated my work ethic at an early age. It showed me the value in work and saving money.”

Watching her parents celebrate 58 years of marriage has made a huge impression on her. “I feel that there is light and joy in everything and everyone, but I walk in faith and have a biblical world view. I believe that the ideal image [of a relationship] should be between a man and a woman.” Along with same-sex marriage, she also comments on single motherhood. “I applaud single mothers; they are doing a good job, but I believe that any situation that is outside of [the ideal image] is not a part of the original plan, and they are simply doing the best that they can with what they have.”

This world view has kept her from having children. “I only ever envisioned myself as a married woman with kids and I never married.” Despite this, she strongly believes that there are no limits to who you can be, and she is excited to move forward on the show –– and the second half of her life –– as a “renaissance woman” –– the teacher, the researcher, the chef –– and wants to tell viewers, “Don’t put yourself in a box. You can do whatever you put your mind to, and it’s never too late to educate, or be educated!”

Patricia Pugson-Nesbitt

At 59 years old, Patricia, who is pushing for an early retirement at 60, remembers her first typewriter, Sunday school plays, and being pressured to audition for her first Bermuda show. “After getting the lead role, I decided that I wanted to be an actress.” She explains, “At the time, women took on jobs as secretaries, waitresses and hostesses. My mother put pressure on me to have an employable job.” Despite this, she went on to study Theatre, Education and Communicationsat Howard University.

Patricia has worked on meaningful projects that have touched on themes of racism and homosexuality, and has done work with Pride Bermuda (Parents Resource Institute for Drug Education). She started at CedarBridge Academy in 2007.“The plan was to only stay for three years.” Now that she has built up the Drama department, she wants to take her advocacy for professionalism in the Arts one step further, “I want to create a real performing arts centre in Bermuda, and increase the intellectual property on the island”.

She expects this project to change the poor perception of worth. “It’s an expectation that actors will work without pay, but through ‘The T’, I want to prove that actors are intelligent people, and can have intelligent conversations. When you patronise something like this, you are growing a performing arts community in Bermuda.”

“I want to talk about how the Arts are something that can help a person grow as a professional. It teaches etiquette, punctuality, business communication, integrity in work, and that it’s not all about you, it’s about your audience.” Most importantly, she stresses that in order to put on a good show, you have to find your true self.

These are traits that she feels young people can use in today’s social media age. “Kids have to learn self-awareness, they have to learn to be humble. Social media is necessary today, but it’s a set up. These kids are overnight-celebrities without the need for hard work.” She says, “Young people are looking for immediate success and money”.

In her classes, she teaches about network (off the internet) and the value of life skills. “There is inherent goodness in people that live on this Earth. You have to be vulnerable to win; through drama we deal with that. The money and success will come.”

This article was originally published in the Fall 2018 edition of RG Magazine. 

The post Introducing the Women of “The T” appeared first on RG Magazines.

There is a certain inevitability about Bermuda’s gradual move towards marriage equality. History shows us this; it is invariably the result of acknowledging that civil rights previously only available to straight couples should be afford to all.

In the successful fight against Proposition 8 in California, in the Civil Partnerships Act of 2004 in the United Kingdom and the subsequent Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013, the law eventually caught up with the evolution of society itself. In Australia last year 61.6 per cent of the population voted for marriage equality in a postal referendum after years of ineffective debate in Parliament.

In Bermuda the passing of the Domestic Partnership Act 2017, which overrides the Human Rights Act 1981 and removes the rights of gay couples to marry, means the argument is going back to court, again. If the not too distant past is any indication the judiciary is likely to rule in favour of those who support equality in marriage, continuing the precedent set last year by Puisne Judge Charles-Etta Simmons in the Godwin & Deroche v The Registrar General, the Attorney General et al case.

In her judgment Mrs Justice Simmons said that denying these rights against the backdrop of changing attitudes towards same-sex relationships was “out of step with the reality of Bermuda in the 21^stcentury”.

Among opponents to marriage equality in Bermuda there is a grudging acceptance that the battle will eventually be lost. The passing of the Domestic Partnership Act prompted Pastor Paul Heffernan, of the Evangelical Church of Bermuda, to tell the religious website onenewsnow.com: “If it [the process] is going to follow the regular pattern that we’ve seen globally then I believe that it [the Domestic Partnership Act] will be a stepping stone unless the Lord intervenes in some way.”

Unfinished Business

In the 26 countries around the world that have recognised same-sex marriage God has been strangely silent on the subject, considering the insistence of most religions that homosexuality and same-sex marriage is an abomination and those who are gay face eternal damnation.

Instead, life has carried on as normal, and the fears expressed by C.V. “Jim” Woolridge during the passing of the Stubbs Bill in 1994, where same-sex marriage in Bermuda might be said to have its roots, have not yet come to pass.

The Private Member’s Bill, named after Dr John Stubbs, decriminalised sex between men in Bermuda some 27 years after it had been decriminalised in the United Kingdom. In a heated debate in the House of Assembly, which was punctuated by the removal of Bishop Charles Foster Fubler of the Christian Coalition from the public gallery, Woolridge, then the UBP’s tourism minister, voted against the motion, saying: “Bermuda up until now has been referred to as a paradise. Soon we’ll be known as the fairyland.”

The process in Bermuda towards granting a minority group rights that the rest of us take for granted has largely been about forward and backward steps; and the clash between progress and religion has changed little in the intervening years.

In 1994 Dr David Dyer of the UBP attacked his Government for not bringing the Stubbs amendment forwards itself. “There was a serious lack of judgment, and even cowardice,” Dr Dyer told the House. He called on black colleagues to remember the past. “Many of your ancestors were locked up for something they had no control over, and those doing it felt justified in doing it.”

It is a sentiment that would not have been out of place when judging Premier Michael Dunkley and the OBA’s approach to the non-binding referendum on same-sex marriage in 2016. The rebranded UBP did at least advance the issue with the passing of the Human Rights Amendment Act 2013, which prohibited discrimination against anyone on the basis of their sexual orientation. It was this Act that opened the door to the ruling by Mrs Justice Simmons last year.

Progress has been slow, painfully so at times, but every block that has been thrown up has been overcome, eventually. Bermuda was not ready for Renee Webb’s attempt to introduce a Human Rights Amendment Act in 2006 – a proposal that was met with deafening silence in the House at the time.

Faced with Wayne Furbert’s Private Member’s Bill for solidifying in law that marriage is between a man and a woman, the Domestic Partnership Act, which still does that, but, also gives some, though not all, legal rights to those in domestic partnerships, was the best that Walton Brown and the Progressive Labour Party could have reasonably been expected to achieve.

History will undoubtedly show it to have been a step, one of the last, on the road to marriage equality.

It is impossible to discuss the relationship that Bermuda has with members of its LGBTQ community without discussing marriage, but that is far from being the whole story.

Convincing either the Christian right, or those on the other end of the spectrum, to change their minds on the marriage issue is about as likely as convincing members of The Flat Earth Society that they won’t sail off the edge of the world at some point. So entrenched are the respective positions that short of God Herself descending from the heavens to settle the issue, nothing seems likely to bring these two groups together.

However, in Bermuda, something has been lost in all the noise, in the hateful rhetoric spewed by those on both sides; and that is the people behind the headlines. In many ways the Domestic Partnership Act and the push for marriage could be said to be putting the cart before the horse in a country where; gay politicians and gay Premiers have not been, and are not able to be, open publically about their sexuality, where gay sportsmen and women remain resolutely in the closet, and where members of the LGBTQ community still feel uncomfortable doing something as simple as going on a date.

In discussing the Domestic Partnerships Act, Walton Brown, the island’s Minister for Home Affairs, said the aim had been to “strike a fair balance between two currently irreconcilable groups……..Bermuda will continue to live up to its well-earned reputation as a friendly and welcoming place, where all visitors, including LGBT visitors, will continue to enjoy our beauty, our warm hospitality and inclusive culture”.

Not everyone agrees with that final sentiment, no matter how genuinely Bermudians feel it to be true.

Andrew (not his real name) is a young, gay, black Bermudian. He has not yet felt able to tell his family, who he no longer lives with, that he is gay, although they know anyway from family friends. This is his story:

“I’ve known I was gay my whole life; I didn’t know what the closet was until I was in middle school when the bullying started. I was constantly picked on, and bullied, my first year at middle school I was jumped by five guys, in high school it all stopped, but people still talk about me today.

I think I was picked on because I was flamboyant, and because of the attention I was getting from the girls, I guess. They [other people] couldn’t accept that I was being true to who I am, and sometimes people pick on you because they are insecure about themselves. They find a way to intimidate you because you are doing better for yourself, and they can’t do that.

I still get dirty looks from people when I’m walking around town, but I brush it off because their opinion doesn’t mean anything to me. But that’s just me, I’ve been through it already so there is nothing you can say or do to me that can affect me now – I really don’t care.

As far as my family is concerned they didn’t find out until a couple of years ago, but they didn’t hear it from me, they heard it from other people who were talking about me. I was always insecure about coming out; I was always flamboyant, but I always denied that I was gay.

They still haven’t heard it from me, personally. But they have speculated and come to the conclusion themselves, so I didn’t really have to tell them, which kind of made it easier. But, I did move out last year, which eased the tension on my part.

My support system is mainly friends now. Right now I’m living with a roommate, and he’s also gay. His family is fully supportive of him, well us I should say, and I am thankful for that. I guess it is hard to find supportive families [in Bermuda] because a lot of people are Christians and believe what the Bible says about homosexuality, and that things should be a certain way because society says so.

I do feel that things are changing for the better though. The younger generation is more accepting of the LGBTQ community because they’ve seen more, travelled more, they’ve learned more and they can fully grasp the bigger picture, as opposed to the older generation who were stuck on this small rock, and limited in their understanding of the world.

I just want to see more acceptance from the rest of Bermuda, more happiness, more honesty, more freedom for people to openly express themselves. I want gay politicians to stand up for people like them. I heard a gay politician having a discussion about this, and their argument was that they were representing the people and they had to do what the people want. But, we’re still the people as well, you’ve got to represent us, it goes both ways.

It has taken time over the years for me to become comfortable with who I am. I fully understand myself, and know exactly what it is that I want out of life. If someone who was in the closet came to me I would tell them to be true to who they are. You will have some people who will threaten you, but there are people out there who will support you, who will be with you.”

I like men

The assertion that Bermuda is a “friendly and welcoming place” with an “inclusive culture” is one that its residents repeat proudly for all that will listen. It has formed the basis for many a successful tourism campaign and, like any mantra repeated often enough, is held to be true.

Of course, that perception all depends on whether or not you live in the Bermuda bubble, and whether you are part of a community – straight, Christian, conformist, not a guest worker – that the island’s permanent residents believe worthy of inclusion.

There is, as Kirkland Hamill wrote in his column on advocate.com, an ugliness that lies just below the surface of turquoise waters, pink beaches, and constant smiles that greet the unwary. Kirkland should know. The son of a Bermudian mother who brought her children back to the island when he was eight years old, Kirkland believes the island’s ‘charm’ can also mask a deeper reality.

“I’ve been thinking about all the things that Bermuda and the Bermudian people are; and all the things that they aren’t,” Kirkland says. “I haven’t met people friendlier than Bermudians, but it’s often an aggressive friendliness. There is an aura about the place, that kind of veneer of being really intimate and close. Everything looks so beautiful and inviting, it’s almost like it creates this wall to [prevent you] going a layer or two deeper to anything that is authentic.”

For Kirkland the inclusivity that Walton Brown referenced when discussing the Domestic Partnership Act only applies to some. “If you are an extroverted, straight, masculine guy, Bermuda may feel as much of a paradise on the inside as it looks on the outside,” Kirkland says. “Where it gets tricky is where you step outside of that lane.”

The need to remain resolutely friendly, to not rock the Bermuda boat, has caused its own issues, at least from Kirkland’s perspective. “I think there is a correlation between Bermudian superficiality and the amount people on the island drink; stay drugged in order to accommodate contradictions, avoid complexity, and maintain the appearance of easy-going homogeny,” he says.

“I think there is a systemic inability to confront difficult topics. I think many white and black Bermudians would say, ‘well, we get along great, there is no problem’. Whereas, people looking from the outside, would notice the racial tensions immediately.”

In that context, for Kirkland, religion too is a drug, used as a cloak of truth when convenient. “I believe that most Bermudians don’t know how much pain is generated by their religious certainty or how cruel is their righteousness,” Kirkland wrote in his column.

The debate over marriage equality has certainly brought that cruelty to the surface, and exposed to the world the refusal of large numbers of the island’s residents to even acknowledge the existence of gay people in their midst.

“There is no gay community in Bermuda, no safe space. I think the fact that it [a safe space] doesn’t exist there means the community can never really develop.”

“When I worked with the Human Rights Campaign we opened a satellite office in Mississippi, and there was a lesbian couple who gave me a profound insight into their lives. They said they discovered one day that even when they are in their home that they sat on the opposite side of the couch from one another because they were so conditioned, even in their own home, to feel like they had to maintain some sort of distance. I would say some place like Mississippi, or the Deep South, is where Bermuda is right now, or [Bermuda] is even a little further behind because even in Mississippi they [the gay community] have spaces to come together.”

Kirkland, who now lives in Washington D.C., believes that while incremental change in the acceptance of gay communities in the rest of the world has led to marriage equality, the reverse could be true in Bermuda.

“I think you can actually start [with marriage] and it can backfill from there,” he says. “Certainly the fact that it [marriage equality] happened and then was taken away, I’m hoping is going to create enough discomfort in the economy that the politicians are going to have to start reflecting on those things because the marriage issue forced it.

I like girls

Liz is a foreign guest worker, she has been in Bermuda for several years, and comes from a liberal country where there is a greater acceptance of people from the LGBTQ community. She agreed to talk about her experiences on the understanding that we change her name.

“The dating scene in Bermuda is almost non-existent. Although I date, this is via chance meetings not through any type of scene. The atmosphere means you can’t ever really relax on a date. I generally do not feel comfortable giving any indication during a date that it is more than two female friends having dinner.

“As a foreign gay woman I do not really have any issues, outside the scarcity of potential partners, and the lack of a supportive gay social group. However, I think life as a young gay black Bermudian man would be very difficult.”

“I don’t think that there is a difference between young and old when it comes to acceptance, the split is more along racial lines and level of education. There needs to be a greater effort to bring the two communities together. I would consider that many Bermudians don’t actually know a gay person, or think they don’t.

“I work and socialise with young Bermudians who do not support gay marriage, but change their mind when talking to someone it would affect, and whom they like on a personal level. In these cases it was an education problem, and they had never actually associated with a member of the gay community.

“Having an openly gay politician could help, but I would not think an openly gay man or woman would have a successful political career in Bermuda. But, it is more important to be on the inside, in the room where the decisions are being made in hopes of making life better for your gay countrymen/women than being out on the streets waving the flag.

The church leaders and the power they hold over the government angers me. Church leaders should really be looking at all the Bermudian children born out of wedlock before they start pointing fingers at the gay community who want to go down the traditional route of marriage, then children.”

I like, who I like

Shae, 30, Bermudian: “I don’t have the typical “coming out” story. I didn’t go through a phase in high school of trying to figure out my sexual identity like most on a timeline. It wasn’t any pressure for some sort of big reveal, if you will – I was just ‘me’ going through my own process without bringing attention to how I felt. I knew that I had an attraction towards females, but it wasn’t a shock to me that I found them attractive. I can’t say that in my teens I even understood what I was feeling. There were moments where I would feel a connection with a close female friend, but I always chose to keep it to myself, or simply thought that it was normal, and I’ve never really been good at expressing myself verbally. I wasn’t looking to pursue a female, and was in a serious relationship with a guy until I was 24. Growing up I went to church on a regular basis and was involved in the youth group ministry, so I tended to ignore what I was feeling anyway. After all, it wasn’t appropriate according to my upbringing.

Things became a little interesting when I befriended a woman that was older than me through mutual friends. I was a bit naive towards how everything eventually played out. We exchanged numbers and went out together for a few months. You would’ve thought we were best friends due to how we interacted with one another and how often. One evening I went over to her house because she wanted to speak to me about something. It took her forever to get to the point when I arrived. She was fidgety, displaying nervousness. I was thinking she had done something ridiculous and didn’t know how to tell me. When I was about to leave to pick up something she stopped me by the door. Nothing was stated, it was only movement – her movements that made me freeze. We kissed, passionately. I left without saying anything because I was rattled. I enjoyed it, but was left speechless and confused.

After I had accepted what happened that night, we both spoke about it. Like me she also came from a similar Christian-based background. Her father was actually a pastor; she had a child and was in a relationship with a man. As we started talking about “well where do we go from here” I caught myself thinking logically about what needed to happen. She was more on the emotional side of things, willing to follow her feelings that she had towards me. I just didn’t know how to handle the matter. I felt the same, but chose to ignore my feelings because I didn’t want to be shunned by family members/friends and whatever other dramatics came with it. Ultimately, I ended up lying to her. I told her that I didn’t feel the same way, I guess because from my end I needed to dig deeper within myself. I needed to figure out what I chose to neglect for a very long time.

There were questions that I couldn’t answer. Was I gay now or was I considered bisexual?

I found myself looking at the descriptions of each letter represented by the gay community – LGBTQ. When I researched this it didn’t really make much sense still. I wasn’t any of these descriptions. What I am is apparently a Pansexual, meaning I like who I like. Whomever I have a pull towards is not limited to a person’s gender.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve truly realised the importance of being true to self, and that it really isn’t the end of the world to have a feeling towards someone of the same sex, someone that is a transvestite, or identifies differently. We’re all human. We all have feelings, and just because someone’s sexual preference may not align with yours doesn’t make them less human. Love is love.”

Right to love

Marriage equality is not about same-sex couples wanting to stand in front of an altar to say ‘I do’, although those of faith may well wish to do so. It is not about creating a legal basis for forcing churches to conduct marriage ceremonies against their beliefs; Britain’s approach has been to create civil and religious marriage. It is not about saying one group’s rights are more important than another group’s. Similarly, marriage does not belong to religion. As a word, as a concept, its roots are far older than most of the ones we still practice, as is homosexuality. Through hundreds of thousands of years the world has not ended because two men, or two women, loved each other. Faith should be a personal matter, between a man, woman, or those of alternative gender, and their god. Too often it has been used as a justification for subjugation, and things far worse than denying two people the right to be happy.

And that is ultimately what it comes down to; happiness, sadness, for better or worse, in sickness and in health – the right to experience life in all its forms with those you love most. A ceremony does not have to be religious in nature, many straight couples today don’t want to get married in a church, but they do want to be able to declare that love in front of family and friends.

But beyond love, beyond the joy of committing yourself to someone, there is the right to be consider human, not matter what. And if you are denied legal rights and protections that others have, you are deemed by them to be less than human. History has shown us what happens in this instance.

Mildred Loving knows something of the fight for equality, this is what she said in 2007, on the 40^thanniversary of her famous court case: “…..I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight, seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.”

The post The Right to Love: The Unfinished Business of Being Gay in Bermuda appeared first on RG Magazines.

That these gangs are populated by young men who operate on the fringes of society is also not news. Between January 2009 and November this year there were 35 gun deaths attributed to gang violence in Bermuda, with another 90 people shot and injured. In the courts there have been 20 convictions for murder, 19 for attempted murder, 17 for unrelated firearms offences, and one conviction for manslaughter. During that time the police have seized 47 guns.

There have also been stabbings, drug busts, petty thefts, and myriad other offences that are associated with gangs and the crimes they commit.

For some these young men are “a cancer”, an “enemy within” and an “evil minority” (The Royal Gazette editorial, Wednesday, June 1, 2016). Others take umbrage at this characterisation of the more marginalised members of our society, suggesting demonising them ignores the root causes behind gangs and deprives the community of its “grief and angst around these issues” (A.S. Simons, Letter to the Editor, June 3, 2016).

There are merits to both sides, although neither completely addresses the reality of the situation. On the one hand there is little understanding of, or appreciation for, how and why young men are being drawn into a life outside the boundaries of what is acceptable in civilised society.

On the other is the longstanding inability to address the issue honestly, if at all, which is not something that Bermuda, with its small close-knit community, has historically been good at; be that talking about gang violence or drink driving.

“I think for a long time people turned a blind eye,” said Antoine Daniels, the Assistant Commissioner of the Bermuda Police Service. “They said ‘this is Bermuda, it doesn’t happen here’, or the other one was ‘it doesn’t affect me’.”

The unwillingness to speak ill of the dead reflects the realities of living on a small island, but it also exacerbates the situation by papering over the cracks of the problem. Having honest conversations about the person who died and their lifestyle, while expressing sympathy for the family left behind, are not mutually exclusive.

Someone can be a “loving father or son” while also acting in such a way that their death or incarceration becomes a foregone conclusion. But, barring a few rare cases, people are not inherently evil, nor born killers. They do not grow up dreaming of being gangsters, but there is a moment when that becomes the most appealing, or sometimes only, avenue available to them.

It is in understanding that process, talking honestly about the realities of a life where anger dominates love, and learning how to change those realities that lies at the heart of reducing the violence that has gripped the island for the past decade and more.

The Community Activist – Desmond Crockwell

Desmond Crockwell is a passionate believer in prevention being better than punishment; unfortunately he believes he is in the minority and that people in Bermuda do not care enough to stop gang violence from happening.

“The problem is the attitude people have; ‘as long as it doesn’t happen to me, or my immediate family, I really don’t care’,” he said. “Our children can die and we do nothing. No one is marching up and down for that. Two guys want to get married and people are marching up and down.

“We [Bermudians] are very proud, but we don’t want to get our hands dirty. We’ll talk about everybody in the world, we love running our mouths, but tell us to go out there and do something, and it’s a whole different story. We need to make sacrifices. If we don’t we’ll just continue to talk.”

For Desmond, there is no mystery in what propels young men towards gangs. He has been there and come out the other side. He understands the anger and the frustration that come from feeling marginalised and isolated in your own country; from feeling trapped by a lack of opportunities and forgotten by a political class that seemingly does not care – or cares only when it comes to photo opportunities and good publicity.

Desmond sees the decades of investment in the court building, police station, airport and sporting events as ample evidence of where the Government’s priorities lie, and he does not believe it is with those that are suffering the most.

“Government has to take a lot of the blame for the way things are,” he said. “They spend millions on prosecutions but tell us [in prevention] that there is no money, so I know you don’t care.

“Where are the community centres? Where are the schools for troubled kids? The sporting clubs are kicking them out. There is nowhere for them to go to vent their anger, their frustrations.”

Ultimately Desmond believes the solution lies in a reworking of priorities and investment, not just of money but of time. The emotional needs of children coming from broken homes require just as much focus as those whose anger stems from an education system that has let them down badly.

“The feeling [in the gangs] is ‘you’re going to wait for me to shoot somebody before you recognise I’m here’,” he said. “You’re not coming to me, so I have to shoot now before you even understand that I’m frustrated.

“We need to talk to them to understand why they are so upset. There all these underlying issues that we don’t know about, that we don’t take the time to know about. Sometimes they just need someone to talk to because otherwise they are bottling up that anger – and it comes out.

“Not listening has a serious impact on our community. Sometimes it’s just a case of talking. They might have trouble at home, be hungry, and they are angry because they don’t think they can tell anyone. There are underlying things at home that we don’t know about, which is why we need facilities in these areas where children can go to be safe, to talk to people.”

For Desmond, one of the most telling moments in his life came through such an opportunity: a chat with a neighbour who told him to focus on the positive aspects of his own character.

“Those people [the ones who listen] are the heroes,” he said. “A guy no one would have thought about said to me ‘listen Desy man, you’re a good person you know I’ve seen you do good, all those good things that you’ve done, and this [the bad] is what you want to dwell on? Because everyone is dwelling on it? You need to see yourself as this, then you can help the ones coming behind you’.

“You can’t tell a youth ‘you’re a bad child’. You can say ‘you’ve done a bad thing’, but not ‘you’re a bad person’. There’s a difference. There has to be a difference in the way we talk about our children. If you tell a child ‘you’re never going to make it’, eventually they will believe you. Tell a child they’re trying, they’ll keep trying until they make it.

“The little things we say, the little things we plant into our children’s minds, the places that we take them has a lot to do with how they think about themselves. That is something I really try to emphasise; we don’t have bad people, just bad choices.

“What we do and tell them [the youth] matters. We can’t just keep telling them ‘straighten up before I help you’.”

The Gang Member – Anonymous

It is difficult to get gang members to talk for obvious reasons. The fear of being identified, of being accused of talking outside the gang, for bringing unnecessary attention to themselves – all of these things plays a part.

Still, to truly understand the reasons someone may have for joining a gang you have to go to the source.

The concerns lessen for those who have been caught and now reside at Westgate, although they never go away, which is why this interview was conducted with the understanding that the person consenting to it would not be identified in any way.

How did you get started in a gang?

“Speaking on my perspective, coming up some people’s not really got it [academics], and so you’re struggling. A lot of us turned to hanging on the streets, then it leads to selling drugs and some people get the impression…they feel they are upgrading themselves.

“I guess people just get over their heads with certain things and they feel that they are bigger than other people, and it becomes a pride thing.

“I wanted to be a mechanic; I used to like to fix bikes. But I got caught living in the fast lane by selling drugs, and I thought that was the right way to go because I was waiting for a paycheque. I was getting that in a week what I was earning in a month. So I was hooked on that instead of the job, but now I feel it and I have regrets.

“I wish I had…it was a good job and it was a well-paying one, but I just got caught in the fast lane. But that happens to a lot of people. If you can make $500 in a day, instead of waiting a whole week, then why not go for that?”

 How do you get the gang members today to understand the reality of what they’re doing?

“The only way they will get understanding is if they get it from somebody who has been there, has been in the lifestyle, thought that what they were doing was right, but end up finding out down the line that it’s not right, because friends that you think have got your back out there, they don’t have your back when you are in jail.

“They [friends] don’t put money at the canteen for you, they don’t phone, half of them you can’t even get to come visit. And the people that are looking out for you are the ones that are hurting – your family. They are the ones that will be there for you for the rest of your life. But the hurt, it always leads back to the family members.”

Isn’t providing for family what it’s all about?

“To a certain extent because at the time you think you’re doing the right thing. But then the shoe falls off the foot and you find out that path was really the one you shouldn’t have been walking down. That’s when reality sets in.

“Some families wouldn’t know because a lot of men are not going to go home and tell their momma ‘somebody’s trying to kill me’ or ‘I’m in this lifestyle’. They try to shield it from their family, and if something happens around the house, obviously they [the family] are going to be very frightened.

“It does have an effect on families. They have to live with that for the rest of their life; they’re not going to forget what happened. I’ve been shot at. It’s not a nice feeling, it’s not a nice sound. I’m just lucky I’m here to talk about it.”

How do you stop the younger generation wasting their lives?

“The only thing I can suggest, as someone who has lived that lifestyle, is to show them the things that have happened in my life. Show them that, all right, cool, you might be living your life, getting away with doing your thing, bragging to your girl, your boy. You think they’ve got your back.

“Those girls ain’t going to be your girl. She’ll be somebody else’s girl, and you’re going to have problems in jail. If they feel that that kind of lifestyle is cool, with one of their brethrens in jail doing a life sentence, then they’ve got it wrong, they’ve got it twisted.

“I’ve heard a lot of guys say ‘I’ll go jail’, but they don’t know – even the hardest of guys in here break down crying.”

What would you say to them if you could?

“I’d want them to know [that] no money can amount to human life and if the youths are thinking about picking up a gun, to just to show your girl that you’re some gangster, or whatever they have in their mind, let it go. Because when you’re sitting up in this jail cell, it’s not a good thing. You have no friends around you and when you’re in that quiet time by yourself, that’s when reality kicks in and you know you’re not going home.

“I would tell them get out, get an education, raise your family the right way, rather than have your child come and visit you in jail.”

The Family Member – Arreta Furbert

Arreta Furbert has endured a mind-numbing grief that most mothers could not fathom.

In October last year, her 19-year-old son, Isaiah, was shot dead in his bedroom as she folded his laundry in the room next door.

She watched helplessly and hysterically as EMTs tried desperately to save her only son’s life before rushing him to hospital where she was told he had died.

Just nine months later, Arreta saw her son’s best friend, Jahcari Francis, 20, murdered in almost identical fashion in the same Upland Street home as they sat down to dinner.

Police have yet to charge anyone with either murder, but the grieving mother rejects assumptions that her teenage son was mixed up in the tit-for-tat gang lifestyle.

She admits he had enemies, but insists his allegiance to the St Monica’s area was borne solely from family and friends that he grew up with, rather than any criminal enterprise.

“I never felt worried that my son was in a gang; they were throwing up the signs of where they came from in middle school, but I did not see that as them being part of a gang,” Arreta said.

“For Isaiah, it was where he was from. His grandmother grew up on Mission Lane and he would go up there to see his uncle. That recognition of 42 and 42nd Street to him was not what it may seem to a stranger.

“A lot of the tension with others stemmed from when they were at school and aged 11 or 12; punch-ups in the schoolyard and things like that. Call it naivety on my part, but I never took it to heart. I never imagined anything like this would ever happen.”

Arreta and Isaiah had lived under the same roof every day of the teenager’s life.

“As long as I can remember, it was always just me and Isaiah,” she said. “I worked two jobs all that time and he always wanted to be at home,” she said. “His friends would come over; they were always at our place, and that was just the way it was.

“I didn’t want him hanging out on walls; I wanted to have him in my sights. My mother was always there too; we were a very close family.”

In July 2016 Arreta, her elderly mother and Isaiah moved back to Upland Street for a second spell.

She said: “We had toyed around with the idea of him going to Canada after he finished school, because he was a Canadian citizen through me, and I tried to push him in the direction of navigation and ships.

“But he did not want to leave. He wanted to go fishing with his dad and spend time with his friends.

“Then things started to go a little haywire. Before, he was never really involved in the street; he never really hung out at clubs or football games. But then in the summer, before his death, he started going to things like Beachfest, Cup Match and Non Mariners.

“I knew there were people who did not like him and he was smoking weed, but I felt I was in control. He wasn’t stealing or anything like that. I would ask him what their beef was; he just said they were just jealous.

“He sometimes told us that he was not going to live to be an old man. Now that seems quite prophetic.”

Arreta insists she kept close tabs on her son, always checking his drawers and pockets for any signs of trouble.

“I don’t think I was complacent,” she said. “I felt like I was doing everything I needed to. Isaiah was not a good liar, so I never felt he was drug dealing or anything like that.

“His behaviour was not strange. Some people had said to me you need to get him off island, but I remember him saying he would not let them chase him away. He said he had not done anything wrong. Even now I cannot figure out what the hatred was all about.”

Arreta described her son as a “good soul” who was popular and would give friends the shirt off his back.

“I feel like I ran out of time with Isaiah; they pulled the rug from under me,” she said. “He was no angel but I keep thinking, if only I had just had a little bit more time with him.

“I would like some kind of closure. I want to see the man who did this to my son and ask why. I just don’t understand, but I refuse to let them win.”

The Police Officer – Assistant Commissioner Antoine Daniels, Bermuda Police Service

For Mr Daniels, the fight to combat the gang problem in Bermuda begins in the schools.

With gang members getting ever younger, the Assistant Commissioner is under no illusions as to the task the police face in helping to solve the problem.

“Bermuda is no different from any other Western civilisation, where you get a lot of the kids displaying a lot of antisocial behaviour and delinquency if you don’t get into them quickly,” Mr Daniels said.

“That’s why we gear the gang resistance programme towards Primary 6 and M1. The 10, 11 and 12-year-olds; that’s the time of development where you see them bearing those certain characteristics.”

Research tells the police that children primarily join gangs for one of three reasons: social status, financial need and fear. On top of that, there is the disenfranchisement that comes from feeling that society has no place for them, that there is no hope for the future, so they create an alternative society.

“I was listening to the radio the other day where they were interviewing two teachers who were talking about the students in their classroom, and that they have to prepare them to learn. They arrive at school and they’re not ready; they’re hungry, there is trauma at home. The teachers have to deal with this before they can even teach.

“This is the type of situation that you’re dealing with in Bermuda, so it’s not lost on me that we have some serious problems.”

While the traditional aspect of policing – catch and convict – will always form the largest part of Mr Daniels’s focus, there is an appreciation, too, that the police can have a positive influence early on by working with charities such as Family Centre and Mirrors to provide safe and supportive spaces, mentorship and coaching for children that might not otherwise have access to those things.

Programmes such as the Youth Leadership Academy, Homework Academy and Beyond Rugby are important, so too the Gang Taskforce, which at the height of the gang violence went into the schools to educate teachers and parents about what was happening.

“We went to the high schools and middle schools [public and private] and had a real heart-to-heart with a lot of the teachers,” Mr Daniels said. “We’d bring them to the assembly and point out the gang paraphernalia that the children had on, and they [the teachers] didn’t even realise it.

“At some schools we found that students would form in certain areas of the school where there were gang symbols on the walls. We had those painted over them to try and break that up.

“It’s very sensitive how you do it. You never want to come out and say X-school is more gang-culture than Y-school. Although we know and recognise what is going on in those schools, we try and work with the principals and student body to resolve those various issues.”

Building trust in the community is also essential, but Mr Daniels also knows that people have to want to help themselves. “The biggest thing for me is to try and get people to understand that handcuffs are not going to solve the problem,” he said.

“We try to show the community that if you continually turn a blind eye to what’s going on, one day it may be on your doorstep, and that’s one of the biggest messages I try to get out there. Either get involved voluntarily, or you might get involved through some type of mishap. It’s not a threat, it’s not trying to scare people, it’s the reality of what’s going on. And I’ve seen that first-hand.”

The Politician – Wayne Caines, Minister of National Security

If people want practical solutions to the problem of gang violence, then Wayne Caines knows exactly where they need to start looking – at themselves.

The Minister of National Security believes that while the Government has a responsibility to help to solve the issue, with improving education being a major focus, communities must also take a greater role in preventing young men from falling into a lifestyle that too often ends in misery and death for those around them.

“In Bermuda, everyone wants to know what are the practical things we can do? On a practical level, we have to hold our sons accountable for their behaviour,” the minister said. “We cannot give safe harbour to anyone that is doing antisocial behaviour and it is as simple as allowing someone to use a car that is uninsured and unlicensed. This is fighting in the neighbourhood, this is selling drugs; all of these things are interconnected and basic things that we can do.

“Our parents, our community, we have to hold everyone accountable for their actions. We have to make sure we create safe environments for our young sons. The sporting groups have to create an environment [that is safe] from first thing in the morning to last thing at night. A lot of our young men do not have safe environments, so we have to create surrogate families; whether it is our church, it’s the sporting groups, but they have to have a safe environment where they can develop, mentally and socially.”

For the minister, the disintegration of the family unit is crucial to understanding the problem that the island faces, as is understanding the psyche of the young men that are attracted to that lifestyle.

“We have to look, the black community specifically, we have to look at making stronger families because something that is crystal clear, when a young man does not have a father in the home, he is much more likely to seek solace, comfort and guidance from those in his peer group,” Mr Caines said. “The Government will do its piece, community clubs should be held to account to their piece, but the last piece is the family. The family has to be encouraged to make wise decisions; we have to encourage the family to play an integral part in healing our country.

“That goes to the next thing, mentorship. A lot of times we want performance without development. We have to ensure that we have every able-bodied man, whether they are black or white, getting back into our community and mentoring young men. We have a mentality of ‘that’s not my son’, or ‘that’s what’s happening in the back of town or Somerset’. We have to create a model of mentorship…I’m talking things outside of what the Government is already doing.”

One thing the minister is not convinced by is the argument that successive governments have been more focused on punishment rather than prevention. What he does believe is that a section of society was ignored in the race for economic growth.

“The reality of it is that for a very long time we have been successful as a business jurisdiction, a blue-chip jurisdiction,” he said. “We have allowed our success to permeate the business sphere, but the family was left behind. We are seeing the manifestation of the neglect to the social fabric of our country, but all is not lost. We have things to put in place that can solve this crisis and I believe together we can do it. I believe there is an opportunity to heal Bermuda.

“I would say that we have never looked at this as a public health crisis. We have to take a more clinical approach, we have to deconstruct the psyche of those that are committing the violence and we have to incorporate what we have learnt, including from the police, and put all the different elements together.

“The Government has a plan, but as far as the community is concerned, everyone has to row in together. Sport clubs, families, churches have to come together in a holistic approach to solve the problem.”

There have been 35 gun murders in Bermuda since May 22, 2009 in 34 shooting incidents*

Malcolm Augustus

Deshaun Jerry Berkley

Stefan Burgess

Garry “Fingas” Cann

David Clarke

Fiqre Crockwell

Jonathan Dill

Patrick Dill

Prince Barrington Edness

Colford Ferguson

Jahcari Francis

Isaiah Furbert

Rico Furbert

Kumi Harford

James Lawes

Jahmiko LeShore

George Lynch

Dekimo “Purple” Martin

Freddy Maybury

Jason Mello

Shane Minors

Haile Outerbridge

Jahni Outerbridge

Michael Phillips

Perry Mosley Puckerin

Raymond Troy “Yankee” Rawlins

Erin Lee Richardson

Joshua Robinson

Kenwandee “Wheels” Robinson

Randy Robinson

Jason Smith

Morlan Steede

Lorenzo Stovell

Rickai Swan

Kimwandae Walker

* This list does not include Shaki Crockwell, who was shot in 2007 before the big outbreak of violence started (his killer, Derek Spalding, was sentenced to life behind bars, and must serve 25 before becoming eligible for parole) or Jason Lightbourne, who was fatally shot in 2006 (Prince Edness was charged and acquitted in November, 2014 – shortly before his own murder)

According to people who work with gangs, there are several reasons why children join them. These are the most popular:

• For money, jewellery, respect and power
• For a sense of belonging
• As a result of the neighbourhood where they live
• For protection
• Because they were forced into it
• Out of boredom

In the battle parents face in keeping children out of trouble, here are some tips from the Gang Prevention Unit on how you can spot if children are going down the wrong path.

• Watch their friends and associations carefully and observe whether they move around the Island with friends for protection
• Be concerned if they do not want to travel to certain areas
• Monitor Facebook postings
• Watch out for the use of multiple cell phones, which can be a sign of drug dealing
• Look out for signs of drug and alcohol abuse and failing schoolwork
• Be wary of them throwing up gang signs and being made aware of gang-related incidents instantly.

The best ways to prevent young people getting caught up in gangs are to:

• Give them as much encouragement as possible and encourage extra-curricular activities such as church and youth groups and sport
• Encourage them to stay focused at school
• Discuss the consequences of gang life and what it leads to
• Open their eyes as much as possible about other countries and cultures
• Discourage any glorification of gangs, guns and drugs
• Monitor what they see and listen to on the television and internet

This article was featured in the December 2017, RG Winter Magazine.

The post Gangs in Bermuda appeared first on RG Magazines.

Striving to make themselves, their families and their island better than before, all are driven to succeed, but no two stories are the same. We spoke to 12 of these industry leaders of the future about their businesses, their motivation, and what it means to work for yourself.

Jahde Dowling
Business: King Jah Beatz
Audio engineer Jahde has had a passion for music for as long as he can remember, and by the time he was 15 had convinced his mom to buy him a beats machine for Christmas. That passion took him to Full Sail University where he graduated second in his class.
A producer at radio station Hott 107.5, he also works independently on the sound for commercials, and music videos.

Taking the step:
“Some of the biggest challenges in this industry when it comes to getting up and running I really didn’t have to face. I was afforded the luxury of being able to start in a place that was already established.
“I had a few bumps in the road on my way to finally starting my own recording company, and I believe that the hard times, and the desire to prove that I am good at what I do, drove me to start doing some independent work.”

Dream job:
“I would absolutely love to work with some companies like Disney, Sony and Warner Music Groups and possibly go to and live in the USA to become an internationally recognised engineer. I would love to win a Grammy or even be recognized by the Music Producers Guild for engineering.”

Michiko Campbell

Business: Chiko’s Smokey Rub
Not content with having one business, Michiko, who also is the chef at the Royal Bermuda Yacht Club, has three, and not all of them are in the food industry. While the Smokey Rub is the most well known, and the outside catering business is what you might expect from a chef, Michiko is also a carpenter of note, specialising in one of a kind pieces for private clients.

So, Michiko, a chef and a carpenter, tell us about that
“I had a talent for working with wood, so I started Chiko The Builder. I can create anything a customer wants; benches, coffee tables, bed headboards, anything. I started working in a carpentry workshop at the age of eight with my uncle. I believe it is always great to have a trade under your belt.”

How did Chiko’s Smokey Rub come into being?
“It started with a comment where someone asked me about a rub I had made. They said I should sell it, so, I did. Also, my wife, Sherelle Campbell, is my other driving force, she believed in me. From the first day I started I said ‘Chiko’s Smokey Rub and Rellz Hott Graphics [my wife’s business] working together will take us far’. She created my logos and does all my marketing. It helped get the businesses off the ground.”

What is the most satisfying thing about your businesses?
“Giving back every year because of how well the business is doing; or hearing the people’s comments and feedback, or just walking in the street and people saying ‘that’s the rub guy’ or just knowing you as spice man.
“I feel very inspired knowing that I’m doing something right and I have that consistent support from family, friends, and customers. I love the reviews I receive after building something for someone. I had built some planter boxes for a preschool and the compliments on my work that I received from teachers and parents were heartwarming.”

Andre Manders
Business: Fresh Fit
Andre’s business is fashion, specifically hats, he just loves hats – and Bermuda, of course, so it makes sense that his brand’s sole purpose is to promote “Bermuda pride and culture in a stylish fashion”

Getting started:
“As a college student studying abroad, I was big on representing my country. Each time I went back to school I would spend at least $500 to $1000 on Bermuda-branded. One particular mid-term break in 2011 I was in Brooklyn when I walked into a Lids store to buy a few hats. I noticed they had blank hats and offered customers the option to customise the hat.
“Being full of Bermuda pride I asked them to make me a hat that said 441 and BDA. I was in love with my hats. However, it wasn’t until the summer of 2012 when I wore one of my hats to a football at Rangers that the idea came to me.
“Everyone asked me where I got the hat from and how could they get one. That was the day I decided to start my own brand. I came up with the logo and name within the month. Although it took me four years to actually follow through with the idea, that’s how I got started.”

Facing a challenge:
“When I officially started in September 2016 there were a lot more local talented entrepreneurs who had started their own clothing brands. The market isn’t as open as it used to be in 2012. A sense of Bermuda pride is a lot stronger now than it was. As a result there is a lot of competition, which is good.
“However, one of the biggest challenges is trying to differentiate yourself from others. People often think you are stealing or copying ideas. When the reality is, I have been planning this and thinking about this for years.
“I have a ton of ideas and in due time I will differentiate my brand.”

The future:
“I want to become well established here in Bermuda and be able to cater to everyone; locals and tourist. Secondly, my ultimate goal is to expand internationally. I have already received a few offers to have my brand in stores abroad; which is great, but I’d rather solidify my brand here in Bermuda first.”

Greg De Melo

Business: Misaki restaurant

As if being a senior technical adviser in the banking industry wasn’t enough, Greg decided to get into the food business. A meeting with Leo Calingasan, the former head chef at Pearl, changed his direction from a food cart idea to Bermuda’s first pick-and-mix sushi restaurant.

So, Greg, why start your own business?
“Tough question, I think the determination to be successful, to have something to call our own, and to have something that one day when I have kids they can be proud of and potentially be a part of.
“I wasn’t always focused on being successful, but after losing my father at 18 years old I was determined. I know he would be proud of my brother and I.
“You need to have the right balance for your business. You need someone who has the business skills and then someone who has the hands-on skills, Leo and I are a great combination of these. Make sure you choose the right people to go into business with.”

What advice would you give a budding entrepreneur?
“Choosing the right location is key no matter what business you’re in. Be prepared to do a lot of paper work, phone calls, following up, and running around. Make sure you ask questions and I would recommend speaking with someone in a similar industry so that you can gain some insight as to what to expect. When you make that commitment by signing contract or investing a large sum of money be prepared to work hard because it isn’t easy, but just keeping looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and you’ll get there.”

Russell Griffith (aka DJ Rusty G)

Business: DJ

From his start at college house parties to Bermuda’s Summer Splash, Rusty G is one of the island’s top DJs. Here he tells us about how he got his start in the business, and what drives him every day.

When did you realise this was what you wanted to do as a career?
“I started playing music in college at house parties, student events and clubs. It was with a group of friends, we had a sound called Immortal Vybz Sound at the time. It wasn’t long until I realised my passion for it and decided to continue on after I finished school.”

You never get a second chance to make a first impression
“Getting started as a DJ is the hardest part. Club owners, radio stations and promoters don’t know if you are good so you have to prove that you are ready to handle it. Once given the opportunity to play in front of a crowd you have to make sure you deliver or you may never get a second chance!”

What is the best thing about what you do?
“Seeing a great crowd reaction to something I did is always satisfying. Knowing that people genuinely enjoy themselves when I play is extremely rewarding in itself.”

Sam Outerbridge

Business: Coral Coast Clothing

Sam is one of the brains behind Coral Coast Clothing, alongside business partner and friend, Adam Petty. After escaping from desk jobs that left them unfulfilled the pair began life in New York’s garment district, and now have a luxury menswear label inspired by their island home.

Sam, tell us about those early days in New York
“We went to the garment district with a passion for our idea, but no direction. We definitely learned the ropes of the fashion industry through trial and error. We has were unhappy with our 9-5 jobs as underwriters and we really wanted to create a product that Bermudians could believe in and could be known as one of the best in the world.”

What was the hardest part in getting started?
“In the early days of starting a company if you aren’t prepared to really struggle, then you are being naïve. With every peak comes a lull that you can never forecast. You have to be strong and very adaptable in order to survive on your own.
“Most challenges in starting your own business will usually stem from a capital/monetary standpoint. You need money to make money in this day and age. Another challenge has been convincing stores and buyers that your product can compete with the big players in the market.”

What is the most satisfying thing about the work for you?
“The most satisfying thing about our business is that we are able to sell our dream to customers that genuinely love the product. It is extremely gratifying to think of a design in your head, bring it to life and then sell it!”

Piers Carr
Business: Current Vehicles

Another two man band, Piers Carr and John-Paul Doughty are the duo behind the island’s first car rental company. While John-Paul is a recent addition to the team, Piers has been dreaming of this moment for several years.

How did you first get started?
“I recognised that the corporate world wasn’t for me, and wanted to do my own thing.”

What drove you to start your own business?
“I was frustrated at seeing Bermuda consistently underperform as a tourism destination and identifying a lack of safe, reliable and affordable transportation as one of the major causes of this.”

What is the best thing about working for yourself?
“Doing something I really enjoy, and looking forward to going to work each day.”

What is the worst thing?
“It is 24/7 with very little down-time.”

What challenges have you faced while getting your business up and running?
“There have been too many to count. I now age in dog years.”

What is the most satisfying thing about your business?
“Seeing the smile on people’s faces when they drive our cars and helping to do our part to rebuild Bermuda’s tourism future.”

What are your hopes for the future?
“For Bermuda to fulfill its potential as a world-class tourism destination and for the island to make a total conversion to electric vehicles. There is no reason that within 5-10 years both can’t become a reality.”

Conor Outerbridge

Business: Freelance photographer/videographer

Something of a free spirit, Conor is hoping to let his artistic nature take flight as a freelance photographer and drone operator.

Conor, you dropped out of university to pursue your dream, tell us about that decision.
“I have always been into photography and videography and it [studying business] wasn’t something I wanted to be doing. I dropped out of Dalhousie University in December last year.
“I first got started when I was in Washington Mall one day and I saw a drone and just decided to buy it. I got my first job working on the Babymoon film with Burnt House Productions and then from there everything just took off.”

What drives you in your approach to working?
“The reason why I like it [being my own boss] so much is because I can work on my own time and pick and choose jobs I want to do. What drove me to start my own business here in Bermuda is to do something completely different than anyone else was doing. I find that a lot of people here just go to college and then come back and work in an office everyday for the rest of their lives. I want to love what I’m doing every single day.”

What has been your biggest challenge so far?
“Having to put in the initial investment of buying a lot of camera gear; drones, cameras, underwater housing , microphones, lights, the list goes on and on. Another thing that is challenging is trying to get your name out there.”

What are your plans for the future?
“I hope to travel throughout the year around the world as a freelance photographer/videographer and then be in Bermuda between May and August.”

Melvin Dickinson
Business: Mediaville

A multi-media marketing and digital agency, Mediaville is at the forefront of technology and innovation on the island, however, things might have been very different, as Melvin describes.

How did Mediaville come about?
“I give my brother Qian Dickinson the credit for getting me started. About 13 years ago my brother, under the brand Vybez Alliance, was building small websites for people while he was running his online business.
“I was in college planning to become a cardiologist and one day he called me and said he was swamped with work. He said if I was up to it he would give me one of his client websites, and I could keep all the money from the contract.
“Being broke in school I immediately took the offer, even though I knew nothing about website development. Qian sent me the files and details, I then found out that not only would I have to teach myself basic programming, but I would also have to teach myself FLASH programming and animation. With the help of Google I taught myself FLASH programming and animation overnight, and completed the website by the end of the week.
“The ability to create something from nothing was everything. From that day forward, I loved programming and I knew exactly what I wanted to do.”

What’s next?
“Our plan for the future is to continue to grow Mediaville as a powerhouse of technology and innovation.
Our goal is to revitalise the industry in Bermuda by building innovative technologies to better the lives of Bermudians. We also have plans for rapid expansion over the next few years opening satellite offices all over the United States and the Caribbean in order to continue growing our local team and expand on our international opportunities. Continuing to executing first class image, first class quality and first class service is Mediaville’s primary goal.”

Caleb Zuill

Business: Sail Bermuda

Summer is a busy time of year for Caleb, which is why we were thrilled to be able to pry him away from a day on the water for the fashion shoot and to answer some questions about his business.

Sailing is in your family’s blood, tell us how you came onboard at Sail Bermuda.
“My dad launched sailbermudayachtcharters.com right at the beginning of the dot-com era. At the time I was running a sail catamaran for another company. As his business began to grow he asked me to come and work as captain for him, which I did.
“Upon his recent retirement I rebranded the business and launched sailbermuda.com. We’ve been going ever since.”

What is the best thing about being your own boss?
“I don’t have to answer to anyone except my operations manager [Marilyn Zuill] who just happens to be my wife!”

What makes all the hard work worthwhile?
“You never really knock off, and juggling family time and work is always a challenge. Our children, who are 5 and 7, do not always understand why we have to work as much as we do.
“But, seeing smiles and hearing laughter from visitors is especially joyful for us! Also, when we receive a great Trip Advisor or Google review, it makes us realise how important businesses such as ours are to tourism and this island.”

Shaun Moniz
Business: Island Gentry

Accountant by day, gentleman by design, Shaun’s passion for style and image led him to create a social media presence that focuses on helping men become more self confident and live more meaningful lives.

Getting started
“The motivation and passion for starting my own business was ignited during a 3-day men’s lifestyle conference I attended in Atlanta in 2015 called StyleCon 2015.  The conference featured a panel of successful businesses, content creators and bloggers across the United States.
“Meeting and connecting with these individuals and business proved that it is possible to earn a living from content creation. It also offered opportunities to connect with other gentlemen that attended who also share a passion for self-improvement and to be a part of a community with like-minded individuals.”

Time crunch
“One of my biggest challenges is finding sufficient time outside of my full-time employment as an accountant to create content and grow my brand.  I find myself using my lunch hour, evenings and weekends to dedicate myself to creating content and working on my channel.”

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Nicknamed Scientist, Junior Maxwell Ming says he is 52 years old, has been living rough for the past six years, and rides the length and breadth of the island on a variety of bicycles; his most recognisable feature, second only to an almost toothless grin. He also, sadly, refers to himself as a “retard”, perhaps reflecting an opinion others have expressed to him over the years.

He seems especially proud of the fact that he “learnt how to dress myself, and I dress warm”.

Given Mr Ming’s circumstances it seemed only natural that we put him on the cover of the magazine, although getting the picture proved a bit of a challenge. Fate often dictates that when you’re actively looking for something you will not find it.

Eventually he surfaced on Front Street; beer in one hand, his bike of the moment in the other. Happy to have his picture taken, the offer of lunch was turned down because he told us that he “was going to St George’s after to enjoy lunch at the big restaurant by the water”.

Conversation with him was as you might expect; fractured, confusing, and occasionally nonsensical.

“I stay out by the old Freezer Fresh in a bus stop and I try to keep out of the way,” he said. “I was staying around the corner but a man said I was too close to his house so I moved. I try to stay out of the way. I sometimes have trouble getting food but people buy me meals sometimes and I feel like I am an angel. I am an honest man and I don’t steal anything and I don’t commit any violent acts. I don’t go to the Salvation Army, I am frightened of people. I exercise often, I ride my bike.”

When earlier declining our offer for lunch he told us all he wants to do is ride his bike, because, “it makes me happy”.

In the past he has spent time in St Brendan’s. As far as we could gather he no longer attends what is now the Mid Atlantic Wellness Institute, he also said he does not take any medication. “Living out in the open is fine,” he said. “A lot of people have come and helped me, and if I didn’t have clothes they gave them to me. If I didn’t have a bike, they gave me one. I said I am going to be a good man and I am.

“I have to tell myself that nothing is tough. I stay away from bad people and no one bothers me. I never go to the doctor because I never get sick. My parents passed away and I have been living outside since I was 46. I have never been abroad, never been on an airplane.”

*We have been made to understand that Mr Ming has a family that support him and that his lifestyle is of his own choosing.

The post My name’s not Scientist appeared first on RG Magazines.

“My style is very two-sided. Sometimes I prefer the Minimalist style, which is sleek and simple. However, I also do love abstract colours and patterns and dramatic shapes. In terms of my hair, I recently cut it short in order to give it some texture, as my long hair did tend to cover my features and was limited in terms of styling. I tend to be a ‘less is more’ type of person when it comes to make-up. I stick to more natural earthy tones to blend in with my complexion and eyes. I love the cat-eye look, it is perfect for during the day and even for a night out.”

During her reign as Miss Bermuda, which she won last summer, Ms Rose said she has picked up tips from other beauty queens.

In December she travelled to China for the Miss World Pageant and said: “I learnt so many tips and tricks regarding make-up while I was away.”

Of going to the competition in China, she said: “I was surprised about how little people in Bermuda know about the Miss World Pageant and what is required of Miss Bermuda in order to compete. It is something that I am looking to alter in the remainder of my reign. Unless you sit and do the background research, many people think that I buy a dress, fly to another country, walk on a stage and that is all. It is so much more. The pageant consists of five fast track events, which require months of preparation and are ultimately based on shaping young women into well-rounded citizens. Beyond the sports and fitness, talent, modelling, media challenge and interviews, the competition encourages the contestants to get involved with humanitarian work in their countries. ‘Beauty with a Purpose’ is what Miss World stands for, and is their charity, which has raised millions of dollars for disadvantaged children around the world. This aspect of the competition is the focal point and highlights the challenges faced by communities around the world and the work these women have done to assist. It may still be called a ‘beauty pageant’ but Miss World has given the word ‘beauty’ an entirely new meaning.

It was an incredible feeling to hear the loud cheering and to see my family holding the Bermuda flags from the audience when I walked out for the first time.

“China was entirely different than I imagined it to be. In Sanya, it was very warm and humid, quite similar to Bermuda, which is why they call it China’s Hawaii. It was fast-paced and busy but ironically peaceful at the same time. We flew to three different cities located on the mainland, which was my favourite part, as I wanted to experience as much of China as possible. I do admit, it was challenging to have no access to social media or even search engines such as Google for the month. I really wanted to involve Bermuda in my experience by sharing information, photos and updating them on my journey and this was difficult to do given the limited access.”

Ms Rose says her family all travelled to China to support her which she appreciated.

“It was an incredible feeling to hear the loud cheering and to see my family holding the Bermuda flags from the audience when I walked out for the first time. It was honestly surreal. The support from people in Bermuda was also overwhelming. When I was able to access the Internet there was an abundance of messages, congratulating me, sharing photos of me from their TV screens, letting me know they have followed my journey and how proud they are of me. It really is an extraordinary feeling.”

While in China Ms Rose said she made lifelong friends with the other women representing their countries from around the world.

“We have a WhatsApp ‘chat’ group with all 114 women that competed. Everyone is able to share photos, stories and updates which is awesome. I have spoken to many of the contestants since and have been invited to their countries, offers which I hope to take advantage of in the future. I have also extended an invitation to them to visit Bermuda and stay with me so hopefully I get to see them again soon!”

Her reign as Miss Bermuda finishes this summer and she said: “It has been an extremely rewarding experience thus far. I have met and collaborated with talented locals, made new friends from 114 different countries at Miss World and have lived in China for a month. It has definitely been a year to remember! I look forward to continuing working with the Friends of Hope charity (helping children with special needs) and getting involved in community events as much as possible.”

Of her future she said: “Once my reign has come to an end, I plan on assisting Miss Bermuda to develop her ‘beauty with a purpose’. Now that I have graduated with a Master’s degree I am focusing on starting a career in Bermuda in Marketing and Brand Management.”

This article first appeared in RG Spring magazine in 2016

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When talking to Alshante Foggo you begin wondering what might happen if she were to ever embrace the dark side of art. It is a difficult concept to come to terms with given her boundless energy, most, if not all of which, seems to be positive.

It is an energy that is immediately noticeable when we sit down and chat at her office in Hamilton one morning, after she has returned from an earlier meeting in St George’s.

The happy place from which she produces her work is there for all to see; it is in the murals that decorate the city and some of the island’s schools, it is in her paintings, and her clothing designs. In fact, we are unlikely to ever see the dark side from Ms Foggo because she denies it the oxygen that would allow it to become a living, breathing entity.

“My art is happy energy, good energy, peaceful, it’s bold. I try to incorporate stuff that looks happy and fun, and youthful in some way. I don’t want it to be dark and sad in a sense,” she says.

“I try to explore more the warmer side of arts and colours, rather than the darker, deeper sort of things.

Artists are driven by their emotions, sometimes I’m not in the [right] mood to be creative, and if I’m not in a good space I will get up and leave it [the piece] alone.

There is an almost child-like naivety in an approach where stopping is preferable to exploring something difficult inside us; the darker elements of art that speak to a harsh place we would often prefer to ignore.

Which is not to say that Ms Foggo does not challenge herself as an artist, she does, but not necessarily emotionally. She pushes boundaries when it comes to using different mediums, which is how she ended up doing body painting.

Body art is not the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about Ms Foggo, who is more famous for decorating the clothes and shoes that people wear than using skin as her canvas.

Still, she has been dabbling more and more with the medium since being asked to get involved in a project for the City of Hamilton and the Bermuda Fashion Festival a couple of years ago. Since then she has explored the medium more and more, usually helping people with costumes around Bermuda Heroes Weekend, or with one of the several glow parties that take place on the island.

“I don’t think it [body painting] changes [my approach],” she says. “The model has to keep still of course. The first time it was a matter of seeing how it came out, how it lasted, trial and error – using some of the paints I use for walls or shoes, and seeing how it can work on the body.

“What I usually use is acrylic paint, so it’s very vivid and it comes out nice and bright on the body but then the duration of it, it cracks if it’s on too long, so you have to figure out what to use.”

Much like her personality, Ms Foggo’s approach to art is largely carefree, and by her own admission her best work comes “when I am not given structure, I personally feel it works out better when I [go with the] flow”.

She hopes that soon she will be able to show the island that carefree approach in her first solo exhibition which is coming “before the year is out”.

“I want the whole island to attend,” she says. “It is going to be my heart and soul put into this project. I have been developing this for a few years. I am just trying to take my time with it, so that I love it and I am completely satisfied with what I put out.

“It’s going to be a story. I like to paint faces and things like that, so I think it’s going to be a story of things I have explored.”

The post In Profile: Alshante Foggo appeared first on RG Magazines.